Ripped Finesse

 

Draped curtains in the darkened room, the only source of light was the flickering candle, I can’t imagine it otherwise, dark gloomy lifeless room a perfect visual of my crestfallen state at this sad hour. But can you blame me, how can I be happy when my whole world is being crushed mercilessly. How utterly moron I was to think that I could find a way out of this misery. My dreams crumble into pieces of broken glass cutting my skin in the process, lying like a lifeless soul on the crumpled maroon sheets I tried to reach for my phone on the side table, forgotten in amidst chaos that wrecked me last night. Thinking about that still brings a sour taste in my mouth. ‘Hope’, what a pathetic thing. ‘Yet you clung onto its very last remnant.’ My tired mind supplied. Turning on the metallic device, the bright light burned my worn out eyes, rubbing pale hands to soothe the abused skin I tried to make out the time. 3 A.M. God! I need to get out of here. Would I be able to run away from this eternal damnation that was thrusted upon me by my very own Father. The least I could do is try. 

Putting my weight on my elbows I scanned my surroundings. Little snores were coming out from the person sleeping soundly on the left side of the king sized bed. Brown locks messily covering his eyes making him look younger then he was. Innocent. He looked innocent, a word that I would never associate him with. Shaking my head to get rid of these ridiculous thoughts I focused on the task at hand. I must get out of this abyss before he wakes up.

Collecting all the energy that was left in my frail body I tried to get up, turns out it’s harder than I thought, just as I stood up from that God-forsaken bed, pain surged in my torso, a gasp escaped my red lips and I immediately covered my mouth to muffle the noise. I looked up at Jason, Thank God he was still fast asleep. Putting a soothing hand on my lower back I collected my things and stuffed them in my worn-out bag. I should think about buying a new one, that could wait dear. First, you should be thinking about getting out of here before the monster wakes up. I reached out to that doorknob and left the hotel as fast as my drained body could manage. Walking down the building people gave me wary looks who could blame them. I must look like a whole circus with smudged makeup and crumpled nightgown, but I couldn’t care less right now what’s really important is get out of this hell hole.

Crashing on Lia’s couch after making sure twice that the door is locked I sighed in relief. Dumbing my body on the soft couch I put my arm on my eyes.

‘Balina? Weren’t you with Jason? What are you doing here?’ Her rumbling speech was beating my head like a hammer torturing the nails.

‘Can you tone down your vocals? My head is gonna explode.’ I rasped out, eyes still covered by lithe arm. She grumbled and stood up from the couch, probably to fetch me some water. My throat was dry as a desert.

After a moment she came back and thrashed a glass of cold water in my hand. Removing my arm from my eyes I looked at the white roof, paint was chipping off because of rain water seeping in. Gazing to my right, I saw Lia putting her phone on the wooden stool. It was a house warming gift from Jason, just thinking about that human makes my blood run cold. Sensing that I was up, Lia strutted towards me making her floral dress twirl and took a seat next to me on the grey couch.

‘Okay now, would you mind telling me what is going on Balina? Because you are freaking me out.’ My petite brown-haired friend screamed at me. Honestly, that is a high voice for a petite body like her.

‘Ugh, you are so loud.’ I grumbled but sat properly to face her. She gave me a stern look. 

‘Wait don’t tell me you ran away from Jason?’ She squeaked.

‘What if I did?’

‘Balina he is your husband now stop this drama and go back there.’

‘Lia he freaking bought me from my step dad don't you dare say he is my husband! There is no way in hell I am going back there.’ 

I shouldn’t have come here. I stood up to go to the only place I could think of. Before I could move farther Lia grabbed my arm and turned my face towards her. 

‘Listen Bali it’s better that you go back. He can make you happy dear, Jason is so nice and he is rich, you will live like a Princess.’

How can she say that? Lia of all people would care about money? I was so crushed by this. What is even happening? 

‘Lia are you even hearing yourself? He is an animal and you of all people know that!’ I jerked my arm out of her grip. Her eyes were clouded and no matter how hard I searched I couldn’t find the safe home I once had in her green eyes. She was like a stranger in Lia’s body. The air felt too constricted to breath. It’s like I am drowning. I need to get out of here. I can’t stand here. Panic surged in my veins and my limbs worked on their own. Run away from danger. Run. Get out of here. 

I reached the door knob but the pale brown metallic door opened before I could register and there stood the nightmare of my life in all its glory. Navy blue tailored shirt hugging his broad shoulders with elegant grace. He looked like someone’s Christmas dream but for me he was Hades. His rough hands took hold of my pale frail arms rather harshly and jerked me forward. I wanted to fight but one predatory look from the monster shut my feeble attempts. His sapphire eyes pierced through my chocolate orbs making my spine hairs shudder in fear.

‘Darling if you wanted to see your very dear friend you should’ve informed me. I was worried sick for you.’ His raspy voice sounded calm but his every word was laced with venom. His gaze turned towards Lia, who was standing near the couch.

‘Miss Valerine. Thank you for your concern. We shall be off now, my butler will be visiting soon to drop a kind gift.’ She called him? My world felt like spinning and I wanted to vomit. The person I trusted so much just killed my being for a few sums of money. Am I that worthless? This time I followed Jason willingly there was no fight left in me. I didn’t even glance up to see her, my friend and safe heaven was long gone. I don’t know this stranger. A stranger.

I don’t remember much after that, it was as if life had been sucked out of me. Thought maybe I could run away from this damned chasm and build a peaceful life but I forgot that I am no damsel whose prince charming would come and save her. There is nothing around me, it’s all dark and gloomy. I looked into the dark pit and found nothing but myself.  Pitch black, just like my hollow heart, devoid of any emotions.

All I do is act. Fake it till you make it. That’s what they say right? But my tale is only about faking it. There is no end to this mirage. When I was a kid I loved theatre. I remember being so passionate about it and acting in front of my Mum, she loved it when I acted as a Princess. She must be so happy now seeing me act. I wanted to be an actress like a fool's dream that would never come true but mine did. I am in a play that’s never going to end, no shot breaks, no flaws, no rehearsing of script. I am just too good at this that sometimes I even fool myself. I am a Princess. I never cried after that day not because I have no tears left, I never cried because Princesses never cry.

Written by: Muqadas Hafeez

University of Central Punjab